Still a bit hot from sex tonight, your walk out of the front door, sliding the other arm into the remaining sleeve of your sweatshirt. You’ve just left your fuck buddy’s place, but you couldn’t help noticing that they seem to want a bit more from you than you signed up for; no, I don’t mean they want to try something a bit out of your comfort zone in bed – they want to date you.
Wait, what? If they’d wanted that, why didn’t they just ask you out in the first place?
Well, life gets complicated and utterly confusing at times; they might have started out wanting to sleep around for a while before moving on, only they started to like you, and they couldn’t shake that feeling.
Your fuck buddy just caught the feels.
Your fuck buddy situation just met a fork in the road, and now you need to make a decision: tell them you’re not into dating right now or go along with it and let the love flow. But that’s another story in itself; we are here today to go over the signs that your fuck buddy wants something more.
If you can spot these signs, you’ll be prepared and less taken aback by their honesty when they finally open up about their feelings (that is, if they do want something more).
- They Linger After Sex A more obvious sign, sticking around after sex is a major clue that they’re more into you than they say. Fuck buddy setups are based off of not much more than mutual physical attraction; when you’re done having sex, the general rule is the guest of honor leaves the premises.
If it’s been an hour or so since you had sex and you’re cuddling or watching TV and chatting, you’ve gone from fuck buddies to fledgling relationship. If you don’t want them to get attached, don’t give them the chance to hangout; tell them you’ve gotta run some errands or go study.
- Grab Meals Together They call it “fuck buddies” because you’re kinda pals who have sex. It’s not “fuck buddies who eat and hangout too.”
Post-smash and mentioning they’re hungry, your fuck buddy is looking for an excuse to hangout with you more, and this is a definite sign they’ve caught the feels for you. Unfortunately, you can’t get that meal with them because you’d only be leading them on and getting their hopes up, which isn’t fair.
Eating together is what friends and couples do together; that’s not fuck buddy territory. Unless you’ve caught the feels too, you should pass on the invitation to get a bite to eat.
- Texting Often Friends text, couples text, and fuck buddies text. The difference between the three is the content of the messages; friends joke around, couples text intimately, and fuck buddies just say, “You up?”
If your fuck buddy is starting to text you more often, they could be in the midst of falling for you. Now, I don’t mean they’re hitting you up more often to have sex; what I mean is they’re texting you for the sake of conversation.
People do get bored, but you don’t text your fuck buddy out of boredom unless you want to have sex; if they text you asking about your day, they’ve moved past just liking you for your body and started to like you because of, well, you.
To keep the situation from getting out of your control, ignore their text or make it seem like you’re busy; it hurts to do that and you’ll look like a jerk, but it’s for the best.
- Chilling Together In Public It’s a Saturday afternoon and your fuck buddy sends you a text. To your surprise and slight confusion, it’s an invitation to go hangout at some public place, not an invitation to get down and dirty.
This situation can go one of two ways: (1) they don’t know the fuck buddy rules and think it’s okay to hangout like friends do, or (2) they know what the rules are but the feels have overridden their sanity. Safe to say, if your fuck buddy actually wants to be seen in public with you, they’re into you and are simply taking a dating test-drive.
- It’s Been A Few Months Since You First Hooked Up It’s an unspoken rule, but it’s generally accepted that after a couple months (or even less), both people part ways. Fuck buddies are noncommittal ‘relationships’, so it’s okay if you have a few partners you visit, but fuck buddies don’t sleep together for more than a few months before breaking things off.
Let’s say it’s been three months since you started hooking up with this person, and neither of you have any other partners – if you haven’t parted ways by now, when will you? Three months is a long time when it comes to fuck buddies, so you might want to start the difficult, yet necessary process of ending it with them.
After a couple months it’d be hard to not find anything in your fuck buddy that you like, and start to develop feelings for them. This is why it’s crucial to keep the relationship short and prevent any chances of it becoming a legit relationship where you’re a couple.
Relationships of all kinds can be difficult, but friends with benefits are a different animal; you’re friends but you’re also kinda not friends, and you sleep together but don’t do anything else that couples do – it’s like a kind of relationship limbo where you do one thing and the nature of the relationship can change drastically. With all the uncertainty floating around, it can be hard to maintain a successful fuck buddy setup where both people go their separate ways and can still say hi when they see each other in public and not feel really awkward doing it.
That’s why it’s important to know the rules that come with being fuck buddies; if you don’t follow them or there is miscommunication between the people involved, feelings could get hurt, and that’s not the goal here. To ensure you have a good experience with your fuck buddy, talk with them and make sure it’s clear what both of you want from this relationship, and do what you can to keep them from catching the feels, such as keeping an eye out for the five signs above that tell you your fuck buddy wants something more.