The idea of anal sex is really polarizing for many people. There’s some people who see it as the ultimate sexual experience and others who find it completely unappealing (and all kinds of variations in between!) Like vaginal sex or giving your partner a blow-job, anal sex is just another opportunity to experience pleasure and connect with your partner. However, there’s a lot of mystique and taboos surrounding anal sex. We’re here today to set the record straight. If you’re curious about anal sex (or want to have more of it!) here are 7 common myths that are holding you back:
1. It’s OK to “surprise” your partner with anal sex.
Like many things in life, there are good surprises and bad surprises. I think that I speak for many people when I say that suddenly finding a penis in your anal cavity is not a good surprise. Attempting to have anal sex (or any kind of sexual contact) with your partner without their consent is not OK. Yes guys, it may seem easier to just make your way down to anal-land and just hope the woman doesn’t notice, however trust us, we do. Big time. I can’t count how many times I’ve been in bed with a guy and I’ve had to guide his penis back towards my vagina because it was inching it’s way toward the back door. Guys, we know what you’re trying to do and we’re not fooled by your flimsy, “Oh sorry, wrong hole” excuses. It’s a douchey move & we’re on to you. The truth is, many people consider anal sex to be a very intimate sexual act, which means you should always talk to your partner beforehand and get their consent before you attempt it. If you can’t have an honest, open conversation about anal sex, you shouldn’t be having anal sex. Period.
2. Everyone wants to have anal sex.
Although porn would lead us to believe that all women are just dying to have anal sex, it’s simply not true. Some women love it. Some find it uncomfortable. Some don’t even want to go there. It’s your responsibility to talk to your partner first and respect their personal boundaries. Pushing the subject or trying to “convince” your partner that they should have anal sex will likely get you cock blocked for good. Because of the intimacy involved in anal sex; your partner may enjoy it but might not be interested in doing it with someone they are dating casually – i.e. you. This is why it’s important that you talk to your partner beforehand. Don’t be offended or take it personally if they say no.
3. You think anal sex is the best way to spice up your sex life.
Once again, although porn would lead us to believe otherwise, not every guy likes anal sex either. If anal sex doesn’t appeal to you, that’s totally OK and normal. There’s no denying that anal sex is having it’s heyday as more heterosexual couples embrace it, however it’s not the only way to spice up your sex life. There are so, so, so many options when it comes to what you can experience sexually, anal sex is just one of them. There’s no need to force the subject if it doesn’t feel right. Liking or not liking anal doesn’t make you any more or less of a man.
4. Anal sex is painful.
The truth about anal sex is that it can be uncomfortable but doesn’t have to be. Just like vaginal sex doesn’t have to hurt and be uncomfortable, neither does anal sex. You just need to make sure that you go slow and use lots of lube. I cannot emphasize the importance of lube enough – in this case, wetter is definitely better and safer. Because anal sex is new for most people, going slow will help you both get used to the sensation. However, if it does start to hurt or feel uncomfortable – stop.
5. Straight men don’t like being on the receiving end of anal sex.
WRONG! A lot of men enjoy “pegging” – when a woman ties on a strap-on dildo and penetrates her partner anally. If you’re a guy who is enjoys pegging that’s totally OK. It doesn’t mean you’re gay, it just means that you enjoy having your prostate stimulated in this way. And yes, I’ve heard from some reliable sources that feels pretty fan-fucking-tastic. Just saying. The message here: keep an open mind when it comes to anal sex.
6. Anal sex is something that good girls don’t do.
There is definitely a taboo about anal sex, but that’s starting to erode as people get more used to the idea. As I mentioned above, if exploring anal sex is something that interests you, there’s nothing wrong with that. If you like it and it feels good, why not enjoy it? Liking it or not liking it doesn’t make you “good” or “bad.”
7. Anal sex is going to mess up your body.
Any sex that you don’t do correctly is going to cause you damage. This is why taking it slow and using lots of lube is so very important. Reviewing our tips for anal sex before you proceed will keep the experience safe & pleasurable. What are your thoughts on anal sex? Share in the comments!